Canadians take their poutine super seriously, so we wanted to be sure to construct a recipe that would be truly authentic and respectful in every area of the dish. … that’s sarcasm, if you missed it. Yeah there are fries, gravy, and curds, but there’s no denying that a poutine purist would seethe at the sight of this truly delectable monstrosity. Still …

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Since the British bastardized butter chicken by way of tikka masala, we decided it was fair to bastardize tikka masala by Americanizing it into buffalo curry. Really though, we jest — it’s a spicy curry more reminiscent of tikka masala than butter chicken, with the tangy heat of buffalo sauce. We didn’t know whether to put it over fries or in a burrito, so we did both. We’re pretty damn sure you’ll love this spicy ass curry as much as we do. 🥵

Seasoned tofu

1 pack super firm tofu.

1tbsp olive oil.

1tsp garam masala.

1tsp curry powder.

1/2tsp garlic powder.

1/2tsp onion powder.

1/2tsp coriander.

1/4tsp salt.

1tbsp potato starch.

Tear tofu into chunks and place in a mixing bowl. Add oil, coat well, and then mix in seasonings. Air fry for 12 minutes. Stir and cook an additional 12 minutes.

Chunky raita

1c yogurt.

1/2c red onion, minced.

1/2c seedless cucumber, minced.

1/4tsp coriander.

1tbsp cashew milk.

1tbsp chopped fresh cilantro.

Pinch of salt, to taste.

Mix together and refrigerate while cooking your curry.

Buffalo curry

1/2 yellow onion, diced.

8 cloves fresh garlic, minced.

1tbsp garam masala.

2tsp curry powder.

1tsp ground ginger, or 1tbsp fresh.

1/4tsp cayenne.

1/4tsp turmeric.

1/2tsp coriander.

2tbsp double concentrate tomato paste.

1/2c tomato sauce.

1/4c louisiana/crystal/texas pete style hot sauce, additional to taste.

2tbsp plant butter.

1 1/2c original soy milk.

Add a bit of oil to saucepan. When hot, add onion. Once onions are a bit browned, add garlic, seasonings, and tomato paste. When “toasty,” add tomato sauce, butter, hot sauce, and plant milk. We recommend using “original” soy milk since it’s a bit creamier than some other plant milk, and it usually has a little added sugar that helps to balance out the acid and spice in the curry. Let simmer for a while, stirring occasionally. When you’re about ready to eat, mix in air fried tofu.

Fries

Cook fries to package instructions. Dust with a bit of curry powder and a sprinkle of salt. Place fries on whatever you wanna eat off of, then ladle over the curry, add raita, fresh cilantro and parsley, and top it off with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.

If you were just here for the fries, dope! You can stop reading here. Buuut if you’re feelin’ burrito… keep on going!

Lemon herb rice

1c brown rice, cooked.

1/2 lemon, juiced.

1tbsp fresh cilantro, chopped.

1tbsp fresh parsley, chopped.

Mix together well and prepare to layer your ‘ritos! Yeaaaaah, other than the tortilla, this is the only extra element for the burritos. Ezpz!

Heat your tortillas (we used Mi Rancho’s gluten free tortillas) in a pan on the stove. We recommend a small spritz of oil on each side of the tortilla to make them brown a bit. When pliable, remove from heat and start layering your burritos: rice, buffalo curry, fries, and raita. Roll them back up and immediately inhale, or, as we always recommend, place them back in a hot pan seam side down. When crisp, flip and take care of the other side. Nothing beats the satisfaction of a grilled burrito!

And that’s a wrap! Er, burrito. Whether you make a tray of fries or burrito (…or both 🙃), we think you’ll love the creamy, spicy, and savory blissful oral hell this buffalo curry offers. If you have any comments or questions, let us know! Especially if we really screwed something up. 🥲 Thanks as always for taking the time to sus out our posts! See ya next time.

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There are a few ideas we have that never see the dinner plate because seem so impractical that we aren’t sure they’d ever work — fortunately, this wasn’t one of those times! Yeahyeahyeah it reeks of SNL’s Taco Town skit (you’ve seen it, right?), but we assure you… this is a taco that’s actually perfectly edible. 😅

Spicy Pepperoni

14oz block extra firm to…

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Okay so this is definitely a niche pun, but growing up a hockey fan, my favorite player was Sergei Fedorov — the dude was an absolute freak of nature on ice skates. In honor of his Red Wings jersey retirement back in January, we threw together these Sergei Feta-dogs. Now, are they exactly relevant to him as a player or person…? Yeah, almost definitely absolutely not, but they’re damn easy to make and even easier to wolf down!

Creamy Russian Slaw

1 1/2 cup, angel hair coleslaw.

1/4c vegenaise.

1tbsp spicy cocktail sauce.

1/2 lemon, juiced.

1tsp fresh dill, or 1/4tsp dried.

1/4tsp ground coriander.

1/8tsp ground cardamon.

About a dozen cracks of coarsed black pepper.

Combine ingredients in a mixing bowl and mix well. Let chill in fridge. That’s all you really need to actually make for this recipe!

Assembly and such

Jumbo Lightlife hot dogs.

Quartered gluten free baguette.

Skin-on fries.

Pickled sweet and spicy fresnos.

Squirt of sriracha.

Crumbled plant-based feta.

Quarter your baguette and bake per package instructions (we used Schar), or until browned. Air-fry frozen french fries per package instructions. Spray pan with oil and heat hot dogs to desired doneness. Remove from heat, let cool for a minute, and slice them halfway through to make them “stuffable.” Place in baguette, and pile in some slaw and a few fries. Top with a squirt of sriracha, plant-based feta crumbles, and the pickled fresno chilis.

And that’s it! A delicious flavor bomb of a hot dog (sandwich?) that’s simple to make and assemble. It is worth noting that Lightlife has recently dropped “gluten free” from their hot dogs, and so they may not be necessarily safe for those with celiac. That said, we’ve yet to have a reaction to eating them. With that said, we do plan on coming up with our own hot dogs recipe at some point, and we will absolutely link that through this recipe in the future.

If you went ahead and give this a whirl, let us know what you thought! If you have any questions or suggestions, drop us a comment. Oh and as always, thanks a bunch for being interested enough to give us a follow, it means a lot to us. 🥹

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We really can’t say what inspired us to throw together an Asian-y BBQ sauce when neither of us (that we can recall) had ever even had one before this recipe, but we think you'll find this sandwich to be stupidly craveable. As a side note, very not-fun fact: this was the first recipe we logged for Possum Fodder. 🤗

Let’s get into it! First things first, p…

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Like many people, my introduction to Thai food was via a big ol’ bowl of pad thai. Or maybe it was tom kha (holy shit, if you haven’t, HAVE)… but either way, there’s no denying pad thai is a staple in Thai cuisine: sweet, tangy, salty, and dare I say… funky… it’s a dish that offers up a while lot of intrigue in every bite. Enough blathering, here’s that recipe:

Sauce

1/2c vegan fish sauce.

1/4c + 2tbsp (6tbsp total) coconut sugar.

1/4c low-sodium tamari.

2tbsp tamarind paste.

Noods n veg

16oz medium-width rice noodles.

2-4 Thai red chillies.

1tbsp freshly minced garlic (about 6 large cloves).

1 bunch (8 stalks) green onions, white/light green parts and dark green parts separated.

2 medium carrots, julienned (or a good big handful if using pre-cut).

12oz mixed mushrooms, thinly sliced.

1 medium yellow onion, thinly sliced.

2 bell peppers, thinly sliced.

Hefty handful of bean sprouts, rinsed.

Tofu

1lb extra firm tofu, pressed and cubed.

2 tbsp coconut aminos (or tamari).

1tbsp vegan fish sauce.

sprinkle of white pepper.

Extra stuffs

Juice of 1 lime.

Extra salt/tamari/msg to taste.

Crushed peanuts.

Sliced green onion.

Extra bean sprouts.

Kala namak.

Combine all sauce ingredients and set aside.

Prepare rice noodles according to package instructions. We did the soak method (cover in boiling water for 15-20 minutes). You don't want the noodles to be fully cooked! They're going to cook in the sauce, so leave a bit of chew. Drain and rinse with cold water, then set aside.

Press and cube the block of tofu, then mix with the coconut aminos (or tamari with a pinch of sugar) and vegan fish sauce. Let sit with the sauce while you prepare your vegetables.

Prepare all veggies. Mince the chillies and garlic, thinly slice the white/light green sections of the green onions length-wise. Thinly slice the bell peppers, yellow onion, and mushrooms, and julienne the carrots if needed.

If using an air fryer for the tofu, spritz with oil and sprinkle over a pinch of white pepper and air fry at 400 for 10 minutes, gently flip, then another 10 minutes or until crispy. If pan frying, heat a bit of oil in a pan over medium heat and cook each side until golden and crispy.

While the tofu cooks, heat a large wok over medium-high heat and add a small drizzle of oil. Add the mushrooms and cook until they release their liquid and turn golden, then remove from the pan. Return the wok to high heat, add a little more oil, and cook the bell peppers and yellow onion until browning (we like to slightly char some spots!) and softened. Add the chillies, garlic, light parts of the green onion, and carrots. Cook until garlic and chillies become fragrant and the carrots start to soften, 1-2 minutes.

Stir in the bean sprouts then add the mostly-cooked noodles to the wok. Pour over the sauce, and stir so everything is evenly coated in the sauce. Continue to cook for about 5 minutes so the sauce can thicken and the noodles finish cooking. Taste and add additional salt, tamari, or msg if needed.

Remove from heat and squeeze a lime over top and mix well. To serve, top with the sliced dark parts of the green onion, crushed peanuts, additional bean sprouts, a lime slice, and sriracha if that's your thing. Also dash some kala namak over the top of your bowl before serving to give it that eggy-something.

It’s worth noting that this should yield about six adult-sized servings, but we made it four… 😅 If you gave this recipe a go, let us know! And as usual, if you have any questions or suggestions, drop us a comment.

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One of us has been a chili dog fiend since they were a kid (🙋‍♂️), and I promise you, nothing will ever hit the way a coney dog did the first time I had one. You absolutely don’t have to be from the Detroit area or even Michigan to enjoy them, but know that those deviants take their coney dogs *very* seriously.

I won’t bog you down in too many details, …

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When people want a seamless meal, a sloppy joe courtesy of Manwich is (was…?) wildly popular — at least for us. And even though Manwich is gluten free by design and perfectly tasty as it is, a homemade batch sounded like a worthwhile attempt to switch things up a bit. We ended up pleased with this one, and think you will be too; after all, “plant-based, gluten free slop” is what you were promised when you followed us, and this is exactly what that is. 😅

Coleslaw

8oz tricolor coleslaw mix.

1/2c mayo.

1tbsp dijon mustard.

1tbsp apple cider vinegar.

1tsp sugar.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Combine ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Set in refrigerator to chill.

Prepping the TVP

2c dried TVP.

2c water.

1 no-beef bouillon cube.

Microwave water with cube to dissolve. Add to a bowl with TVP and let it rehydrate. After about 15min, strain out the liquid and press with a large spoon or your hand to get as much out as you can.

Cooking the Joe

2tbsp chili powder.

1tbsp smoked paprika.

1tsp garlic powder.

1tsp onion powder.

1/2tsp oregano.

1/2tsp cumin.

1/2tsp red pepper flakes.

1tbsp nutritional yeast.

1 serrano, diced.

1 green pepper, diced.

1 yellow onion, diced.

6 cloves garlic / 1tbsp minced.

1tbsp double concentrate tomato paste.

1tbsp apple cider vinegar.

2tbsp yellow mustard.

1tbsp molasses.

2tbsp steak sauce.

3tbsp tamari.

15oz can tomato sauce.

1/4c water.

2tbsp ketchup.

1tsp msg.

1/2tsp cayenne.

Salt to taste.

Add peppers and onions to a hot, lightly oiled pan. Once a bit softened and browned, and garlic and TVP. After garlic becomes fragrant and golden, mix in seasonings, then the tomato paste, mustard, molasses, and steak sauce. Mix in well and add tamari and tomato sauce. Let cook for a few minutes longer and you should be good to go!

We recommend steaming and then flash-grilling your buns so they’re both pillowy soft but with a nice char at the same time. Add desired toppings and you can get to devouring. Personally, we like raw onion, pickles, and yellow mustard to round it out, but you can do whatever you please: pickled jalapenos for a bit of heat and extra acid, cheese for a bit of … cheese… the choice is yours! You could also go ahead and just pile the slaw right on top instead of having it as a side. Did you give this recipe a try? If you did, let us know what you thought. See ya next time! 🫡

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We like to think of the recipes we share here as… relatively healthy… and overall, they have been up until, uh, now. I mean, we’re talking about taking a classic fast food product and giving it the Detroit-style pizza treatment. That said, we think you’ll enjoy going all-out for this one, as the two of us made quick work of this eight slice pie. Anyway,…

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Soup season’s a year-round deal in our house, but for those who (wrongly) don’t enjoy a piping hot bowl of soup when it’s blisteringly hot outside, April’s generally a pretty safe time to get a pot going. This one’s loaded with vegetables and protein while being super creamy without the dairy — which we promise you won’t miss.

1c diced carrots (about 2 large carrots).

1c thinly sliced leeks, white and light green parts only (about 4 small leeks).

1/2c diced celery.

8oz mixed mushrooms, sliced.

2tbsp freshly minced garlic, ~10 cloves.

1tbsp fresh thyme, hard stems removed.

1tsp garlic powder.

1tsp onion powder.

1tsp red pepper flakes.

1tsp ground sage.

1/2tsp white pepper.

2tbsp stone ground mustard.

1/2tsp liquid smoke.

1tbsp tamari.

8 cups broth (or 8 cups water + 4 no-chicken bouillon cubes).

1c wild rice, rinsed.

1c raw cashews (boiled or soaked if you don't have a high power blender).

2 cans cannellini beans.

1c packed chopped kale, stems removed (or spinach).

lemon juice or white wine vinegar to finish.

Heat large pot over med-high, spritz or drizzle a little olive oil. Cook mushrooms until liquid is released and they begin to brown. Add a splash of tamari or a pinch of salt. Remove from pot, wipe pot clean, and return it to the stove. Drizzle a little more olive oil into pot (about a tsp), then add carrots, celery, and leeks, along with a generous pinch of salt and black pepper.

When softened, add garlic and thyme and stir, then add remaining spices, liquid smoke, and mustard. Stir frequently until fragrant, then deglaze pot with the tbsp of tamari. Add 8 cups of broth and bring to a boil. Once boiling, add wild rice and one drained and rinsed can of cannellini beans. Lower heat to a simmer, loosely cover, and cook until rice is almost done, about 25 minutes. While soup is simmering, blend raw cashews and one can of cannellini beans (with the liquid from the can) until smooth. You may need to add a little water or plant milk to help it along! We added about 1/4c of unsweetened cashew milk.

Once rice and vegetables are nearly cooked, stir in the cashew-cannellini cream, then add the kale and prepared mushrooms. Give it a good stir and let cook a little longer until kale is soft and the soup is thickened. Add additional salt/pepper/tamari if needed, and a splash of white wine vinegar or lemon juice for acid.

Mm, mm, soup. We’d like to apologize now to anybody who’s unenthused with soup (you’re still wrong, btw 😉), because we have more planned! Don’t worry though, we’ll split them up. Did you happen to give this recipe a shot? If so, let us know what you thought! We’ll be back with another post on Monday, aaaaand we’re pretty sure you’ll love it… 🍔 🍕 👀

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Something, something, unsober thoughts… one night we had the sudden thought of a Crunchwarma Supreme, and asked why we hadn’t ever friggin’ made one before. There was basically no plan for it whatsoever as far as what’d be in it, but in our eyes, shawarmas and crunchwraps are top-tier gifts from Gob, and we were determined to make the mash up work.

Strai…

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It’s a sad thing to admit, but… one of my most eaten meals (and favorite meals 🙈) as a kid was Schwan’s frozen chicken pot pie. They took what seemed like forever to cook in the oven, but I’d go absolutely to TOWN on them immediately out of the oven and invariably wreck the roof of my mouth. Generally I’m not a huge fan of the sort of “genre” of food, but I still love chicken pot pies. The problem with making them though is that, like the frozen Schwan’s pies, they end up more like a pile on your plate rather than a pie. It truly entirely hinges on how patient or impatient you are… let’s get started!

Filling

1 3/4c carrots.

2c onion, diced.

1c celery, sliced length-wise and diced.

1c frozen peas.

10 cloves of fresh garlic, minced.

2c gold potatoes, diced.

1/4c plant-based butter.

1tsp onion powder.

1tsp garlic powder.

1tsp dried thyme.

2tsp dried sage.

2tsp dried parsley.

2 dried bay leaves.

1/2tsp white pepper.

Dash nutmeg.

1/2tsp msg.

2tsp dijon.

2tbsp nutritional yeast.

6tbsp white rice flour.

1tsp white wine vinegar.

4c water.

2 no-chicken bouillon cubes.

Salt.

Black pepper.

Microwave water with bouillon cubes to help them dissolve. Heat a large pan or skillet over medium-high heat and add the butter to melt. Once melted, add carrot, onion, and celery. Let cook, stirring every so often, until softened then add garlic, a hefty pinch of salt, some black pepper, and frozen peas. Allow to cook a few minutes before adding onion powder - dried parsley. Mix well. Stir in nutritional yeast and white flour and add potatoes. Slowly add and mix in broth, stirring well to avoid clumps. Increase to high heat and stir often. Add vinegar, mustard, optional MSG, and some more salt, as needed. Once boiling, reduce to low and add bay leaves. When thickened, add tofu. Add a splash of tamari or more salt as needed.

cHiCkEn

1 pack super firm tofu, cut into 1/2in cubes.

1tsp garlic powder.

1/2tsp salt.

Black pepper to taste.

Add to a mixing bowl with about a teaspoon of oil. Toss to evenly coat. Air fry for 12min at 400 degrees, flip, then cook for 8 more minutes or until a little crispy. You can also bake it if you don’t have an air fryer, but if you don’t have an air fryer, why don’t you have an air fryer!?

Crust

340g almond flour.

140g white rice flour.

80g potato starch.

1tsp salt.

1/2tsp sugar.

1/2tsp garlic powder.

1tsp dried rosemary.

1/8tsp ground thyme.

1c water.

Combine all dry ingredients in a large bowl and mix well. Add water a tablespoon at a time, making sure to fully mix in with a large spoon before adding another. Stop adding water when dough holds its shape when squeezed — you may not need the full cup. Split dough in half. Roll out dough to fit bottom and sides of a pie pan. Poke with holes and bake for 5min at 350. Remove from oven and add filling to brim of crust. Roll out other half of dough. Place and seal over the top of the pie. Spritz with a light amount of oil. Bake for 25min. Spritz more oil and bake for another 10min, or when firm and starting to brown.

This is where that pesky patience part comes in, and whether you’ll want a bowl or a plate. If you can’t (or absolutely REFUSE to) wait long, let it sit for about ten minutes so it’s a little less molten lava-like… then plop a “slice” into a bowl. If you for some reason have restraint, let it sit on your stove top for about an hour so it comes out more pie, less pile. Either way, we think you’ll enjoy this recipe!

If you have thoughts, suggestions, or concerns, drop a comment below. Otherwise, be ready on Monday. There’s gonna be a super saiyan sexy recipe drop you’ll wanna see. 👀

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For some inexplicable reason, my first willful relationship with seafood was a midweek, midafternoon McDonald’s fish sandwich. One day, it just seemed inoffensive enough for me to try: soft bun, fried and weirdly square mystery fish, creamy tartar sauce, and half a slice of unmelted American cheese… how bad could it be? Who knew it would end up being st…

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Happy Fodder Friday my fellow marsupials! Now, believe it or not, every now and then we take a break from eating with our hands. That’s not to say you couldn’t roll all of this up and make one hell of a burrito (highly recommended btw), but it doesn’t hurt to go ahead and break in the silverware every now and then — and it especially doesn’t hurt when the meal’s as easy to make as this one is.

Roasted vegetables

1/2 butternut squash, peeled and cubed.

1 red bell pepper, diced into large chunks.

1 onion, diced into large chunks.

drizzle olive oil.

2 tbsp maple syrup.

1 tbsp smoked chipotle chili powder.

2 tsp cumin.

1 tsp coriander.

1/2 tsp cinnamon.

1/2 tsp garlic powder.

1/2 tsp onion powder.

1 tsp salt.

1 tsp apple cider vinegar.

Add vegetables to a bowl and coat well with apple cider vinegar, olive oil, and maple syrup. Mix dry ingredients in a separate bowl before adding to the vegetables, stirring and incorporating as well as possible. Place on a baking sheet as evenly as possible and place in oven at 425 for 20 minutes. Flip and roast for an additional 20 minutes or so, until done.

Black beans

1/2 onion, diced.

1 serrano or jalapeno, minced.

3 cloves garlic, minced.

2 cans black beans, one drained.

1 tsp sazon.

1/2 tsp cumin.

1/2 tsp smoked paprika.

1/2 tsp oregano.

generous pinch of salt.

1/2 no-chicken bouillon cube.

Drizzle of oil in heated stock pot. Add onion and serrano (or jalapeno). Cook until onion begins to brown. Add garlic and seasonings and cook for a minute or so. Add beans and bouillon. Bring to a boil and reduce to simmer. Cook for at least 20 minutes, but the longer the better!

Pico de gallo

1 lb roma tomatoes, small diced.

1/2 onion, small diced.

2 serranos or jalapenos, diced.

1/4-1/3 cup chopped cilantro.

2 cloves fresh garlic, minced.

1/4 tsp cumin.

1/4 tsp salt.

juice of 1 lime.

Chop everything up and mix together well. Let chill in fridge.

Cilantro lime rice

2 cups (dry) brown rice, cooked.

Juice of 1 lime.

1/2 cup chopped cilantro.

1/4 tsp salt.

Cook rice according to your package directions. Once finished and rested, fluff with a fork. Add lime juice, cilantro, and salt.

Chipotle crema

1/2 cup almond milk yogurt.

1 tbsp sauce from can of chipotles in adobo.

Splash of lime juice.

Combine ingredients in a small container. Chuck in the fridge to chill before serving.

Optional toppings

Pickled red onions.

Seasoned pepitas.

Toasted corn tortilla.

Crushed tortilla chips.

Plant-based feta.

And there you have it, my dudes: a simple to make, wholly homemade meal that’s packed with flavor and perfectly balanced with salt, acid, heat, and just a bit of richness from the crema. If you have any or thoughts on this particular recipe, a past recipe, or have suggestions for future recipes we should post, let us know with a comment! Thanks a bunch for stopping by.

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The undisputed king of limited time only offers in the Taco Bell world is without a doubt the Volcano Burrito (recipe coming Soon™️) — but, the Beefy Crunch Burrito comes in at a close second. It’s a relatively tame, ordinary burrito for the most part: some sort of protein that can only be described as “beefy,” seasoned rice, sour cream, and nacho chee…

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Nothing makes a cold winter day, hot summer day, or random Thursday suck less than a brimming bowl of ramen. Trust us on this. “sOuP iSn’T A mEaL!” folk be damned, this’ll leave you full without skimping on flavor. Best of all, it’s easily customizable if you wanna throw a little extra stuff on top — our tip though, is to make it a little *lot* extra stuff. On with the program!

Broth

1tbsp fresh ginger, minced.

2tbsp fresh garlic, minced.

3tbsp peanut butter.

3tbsp white miso.

4c not-chicken broth.

2c original soy milk.

Half sheet of kombu.

2tbsp tamari.

Few drops Dave’s Insanity, if desired.

1/2tbsp toasted sesame oil.

MSG to taste.

Cooking oil.

Add a drizzle of oil to a pan. When hot, add ginger and garlic until fragrant and golden. Whisk in peanut butter and miso until loose and combined, followed by the broth and milk. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer. Add kombu and tamari and let simmer for at least 15 minutes. Let sit longer to develop more flavor. Add additional salt and/or MSG if desired. Also, add Dave’s Insanity or hot sauce that basically doubles as a capsaicin extract if you’d like more heat. When ready to serve, remove from heat and mix in toasted sesame oil.

Noodles

4 bricks of ramen, we used Lotus Foods’ ramen.

We recommend cooking your ramen separate from the broth and other ingredients just to make leftovers (if you have any, that is 😏) a bit easier to manage. Also because… you really won’t wanna just have leftover waterlogged noodles. Nuh-uh.

Crispy tofu

1 block super firm tofu.

2tbsp tamari.

1tsp garlic powder.

1tsp smoked paprika.

1/2tsp white pepper.

1tbsp gochujang.

1tsp everiday mala chili crisp.

1tbsp gluten free/vegan hoisin.

Cut or break tofu into bite-sized pieces. Put into a medium-sized bowl and add tamari, gochujang, and chili crisp. Stir to combine. In a separate small bowl, mix together garlic powder, smoked paprika, and white pepper. Add the mixed seasonings to the tofu slowly, ensuring even coating. Cook tofu in an air fryer for 15 minutes at 400, flip, and cook for another 15 minutes, or until crispy. Check every now and then to ensure a good (i.e. not effin’ burned) texture. Once good and crispy, stir in a tablespoon of hoisin.

Pickled red onion

1c rice vinegar.

1tsp red pepper flakes.

1/4c sugar.

1tsp salt.

1/4c water.

1 red onion, thinly sliced.

3 garlic cloves, smashed.

Heat water until just before boiling and mix in everything but garlic cloves and onion. Add thinly slice onion and smashed garlic cloves to a jar or container. Then add brine to jar and let cool at room temperature before refrigerating. Ideally, make this the night or morning before you eat them. The cold pickled onion as a juxtaposition to the hot ramen just 👌🧑‍🍳 💋

Bok choy / Mushrooms

2 cloves fresh garlic, minced.

1-2tsp coconut aminos.

5-8oz sliced shiitakes or other mushrooms.

2 baby bok choy.

Cooking oil.

Drizzle toasted sesame oil.

If you’re looking to have bok choy and/or mushrooms as a topping, add a little oil to a heated pan. Add minced garlic. When lightly browned and fragrant, add bok choy (or mushrooms) and mix well. When bok choy (or mushrooms) begins to soften and take on color, add coconut aminos. When cooked until tender, set aside and add a bit of toasted sesame oil. Add mushrooms (or bok choy) to the same pan and cook until soft, adding extra coconut aminos to taste.

Other topping / garnishing suggestions

Lime.

Carrots.

Crushed peanuts.

Sesame seeds.

Corn.

Chili oil.

Now you can get to plating. Or, bowling? I guess? Definitely please don’t plate this, actually. Add your noodles to a bowl, followed by a few ladles of broth, and then your desired toppings. Dunzo! Get to eating and try telling me you aren’t full when you’re done. “Soup is an appetizer”… get outta here! 🤧

If you tried this recipe, what’d you like? What’d you hate? Wher did we mak a typo? Let us know with a comment, and thank you for reading!

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Having been eating plant based for 8+ years at this point, there aren’t many food ingredients left that we dislike. With one or both of us previously, it was the weird texture of pineapple, or the stringiness and grassiness of celery, or the fleshy sadness of tomatoes, or earthy dirt flavor of mushrooms, or the harshness of yellow mustard, or something else, but we wound up tolerating and — gasp — actually enjoying all of those things.

But, in a random “Hm, we should try okra again.” moment, we stumbled across the national dish of Angola, muamba de galinha. In general, we’ve found African dishes to be some of the most under-appreciated, underrated ones anywhere, so we thought it’d be a great time to try okra again. With this recipe, we really tried to capture the essence of muamba de galinha in what is probably our favorite food group: a burrito. 🤤

Tofu marinade

2 blocks tofu, super or extra firm, cut/torn into small chunks.

1/2 tsp white pepper.

1 tsp garlic powder.

1 tsp onion powder.

1/2 tsp dried thyme.

1 tsp salt.

1 tsp smoked paprika.

1 tbsp potato starch.

1/2 tsp msg.

2 tbsp olive oil.

juice from 1/2 lemon (about 2 tbsp).

Add olive oil and lemon juice to the tofu in a medium-sized bowl and stir gently to mix well. Add the seasonings and potato starch in a separate container and ensure they’re evenly distributed. Once combined, pour a small amount of the seasoning mix over the tofu, then gently toss or stir to coat the tofu in the seasoning, making sure not to break up the tofu too much. Repeat until all the seasoning is added. Marinate for up to 24 hours. Of course, the longer the better, but even an hour of marination will do just fine!

Preheat your oven to 425 and spray a cookie sheet with oil. Spread the tofu without overcrowding, and spray the top of the tofu with a bit more oil to promote crisping. Bake for 20 minutes, toss, and bake 20 more minutes, or until golden brown.

Stew

1 large sweet or yellow onion, halved and cut into strips.

2 roma tomatoes, diced.

1 scotch bonnet or habanero pepper, minced.

6 cloves fresh garlic, minced.

1tbsp cooking oil.

2c water.

1tsp smoked paprika.

1tsp white pepper.

1 no-chicken bouillon cube.

1 pound butternut squash, cubed.

1/2 pound okra, halved or quartered.

Salt to taste.

Heat a wok or large pan with oil. Add onion, and once they get some browning action, toss in the tomatoes, garlic, smoked paprika, white pepper, and whatever spicy pepper you’re using. Add no-chicken bouillon and salt at this point too. For the salt, a little’s enough. Remember you can always add more, it gets more complicated if you go in heavy handed. Let everything brown a bit more and then add water and squash. When it begins to boil, lower to a simmer, add okra, and cook until squash and okra is cooked to your liking. Remove from heat and mix in the baked tofu.

Nutmeg rice

No-chicken broth or bouillon cube.

1-2 dashes of nutmeg.

Prepare your choice of rice per cooking instructions, but use a no-bouillon cube dissolved in water, or no-chicken broth in place of water, with a dash or two of nutmeg. We opted for brown rice in a rice cooker.

Collards

3 bunches of collards, destemmed and cut into strips.

1 red bell pepper, diced.

1 yellow onion, diced.

4 cloves of fresh garlic, minced.

3 cups of water.

1tsp sugar.

1tsp liquid smoke.

2 no-chicken bouillon.

1/2tsp red pepper flakes.

2tsp smoked paprika.

1tsp salt, add more to taste.

Smoking gun (optional).

Heat pot with about a teaspoon of cooking oil. When oil is loose/heated, add peppers and onions. When translucent and beginning to brown, add red pepper flakes, smoked paprika, and garlic. Add a splash of water to deglaze the pot, then add the collards with a bit of pepper before adding the bouillon cubes, tthree cups of water, sugar, salt, and liquid smoke. Mix well and turn heat to high, bringing to a boil. When boiling, stir again before reducing heat to low. Cover and cook for about an hour, stirring every so often. Add salt and sugar as needed, depending on how bitter you find the greens to be. If you have one, we also highly recommend smoking your greens with a smoking gun as they simmer! It complements the bitterness of the greens incredibly well and just adds another delicious, craveable layer of flavor.

Herbed cinnamon and cardamom sauce

We would have to think you’re thinking “What in the eff did I just read is in that sauce?” Hear us out! Every burrito needs some sort of a sauce to really pop, and with the spicy innards of this particular burrito, the delicate flavors of cinnamon and cardamom — along with mayo and yogurt — offer a reprieve to the heat, and tie the whole thing together.

1/4c cup almond yogurt.

1/2tbsp mayo.

1/2tsp garlic powder.

1/4tsp dried parsley.

1/8tsp cardamon.

1/8tsp cinnamon.

1/4tsp red wine vinegar.

1/8tsp salt, add more to taste.

Cracked black pepper, to taste.

At this point, you can start assembling your burritos! We use Mi Rancho’s gluten free tortillas: they’re a nice size for being gluten free, and they don’t have any freaky ingredients, so that’s a plus. We warm them individually in a preheated pan to make them pliable, set aside, and then begin with the fillings. We first added the stew, then the rice, collards, and sauce. Do your best to strain out what you can from the stew and especially the collards to save yourself from frustrating burrito rips when rolling! As a last step, you can also grill your burritos, which we will always recommend: it seals in the seams, and adds a nice crispness and flavor with minimal extra effort.

Now, make sure your oven and all of your burners are off, and get to inhaling! Any questions (such as, “What the hell is this savory cinnamon mayo!?”), recommendations, or suggestions, please drop a comment and let us know! (Yes, we enjoy okra now. Thanks for asking.)

Until next time… 🫡

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Hey there! Thank you so much for being intrigued enough to click into this recipe to see what the frig this monstrosity contains. If it weren’t for all of your requests, we’d’ve never considered making this Substack, so — thank you, thank you, and thank you again! 🩷🖤

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